A large group of participants had to sign into a phone bridge in order to gain universal approval on something. I had to step away from my computer to help track down a mediator... when I returned he had messaged me "hey you there?" - I was hesitant to respond... but I send back a simple "yeah" - he wired me into a video of him at some party as if it was going to impress me or something... it didn't. It actually only reaffirmed and re-highlighted that he wasn't who I thought he was... he wasn't the person he sold himself to be... but I said nothing... my thoughts were kept to myself.
A bit later he started sending me pictures - the most memorable one was one of his left forearm... it had an acid burn from the wrist down to the middle of the inner forearm that was healing. It was right down the middle so it looked like a proper suicide attempt had it not been sutured shut and healed over with the burned skin element... and he had tattoos... he doesn't have tattoos... so not sure why that was in the visual...just more confirmation that what I knew, and what is reality are completely different. This was followed by some nudes... I was mad at myself for still being attracted.. for still wanting him... maybe not mad.. maybe just disappointed..deeply disappointed.
When I woke up my face felt puffy as if I was crying in my sleep... I cried at the end of documentation so it's highly likely.
I'm tired... I'm so tired of this haunting and self torture.
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