I dreamt about Ian... for the first time in a long time it seems.
I was completely unaware of the suicide in the dream... instead it was that we were split but still remained in somewhat contact... he was with someone else... but we slept together twice in dream... he made it clear - though, not in words... because there was no speaking.. it was just that silent understanding that... that's all it was going to be... and that it was open to happen again if he chose... he was in control...
I'm not sure how I feel now... in prior instances I'd have a complete breakdown when I woke up having to face reality over again... oh nevermind.. here it comes...
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