Homeless Hotel Hugs

Another dream of Ian being alive...and the feeling of having 'rescued' him.  We were in a hotel room - it was as if we had no where else to go, to be...we were laying in the bed together and I asked him about what his sister had told me...that the girl he had been with had been forcing him to give her all his money...this made him uncomfortable and he talked it off as if he had only given her some and it was given freely...but I knew better... he felt ashamed that someone could have had that much control over him.  He hugged me tight...I've always known, and his sister reminded me that I was all he had.  I breathed him in and was reminded how much I loved the way he smelled...we were both homeless...we had no one... no where.  I felt guilt spill in as I had wished that I was laying there with someone else.  I will always love Ian, always...but my time of being with him was, and has been over...I knew he wouldn't be able to accept that, so I kept it to myself.