He would stop by my place on his way home... it was as if it were our first time together... well it would have been, so that makes sense... he wore a white t-shirt and while he wasn't aggressive, he was very passionate in the way he kissed.... I tried to soak in every bit of him as I was only allowed bits and pieces...never the whole. I was scared to touch him...but I couldn't help myself... I wanted to know him...every inch of him....though I knew he was bad for me for he had already broken my trust.
I talked about taking Jen to Germany provided she could still travel while pregnant.. I considered asking him if he wanted to join... hoping he would run away with me there. We were in some empty field for a secret meeting and he lifted me up... I was surprised at the ease and I laughed and said I didn't think he could do it. He didn't go where he said he was going to go... and he wasn't doing what he said he was going to do. Frustrating and disappointing...but I kept trying.... I kept trying knowing it would never change....but still holding on to hope that maybe he would. I'm my own worst enemy.
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