I Dreamt of Pirate-Ships and Fairy-Tales

I dreamt of you in so many different senarios.  Each
time I awoke I forced myself to sleep again and each
time you were there. 


So vivid.. so real.. yet very surreal.  We were
walking along a rocky ledge near water that was tinted
a mossy green... we hit a dead end and you
unexpectedly dived right in.  Then it was almost like
a video game.. sounds silly I know..but you came up
through a hole in the bottom of a pirate ship.. then
jumped up into the ship only to find a hole on the
otherside puts you back down into the water.  At that
point, even with my fear of being in murky water I
followed and found you holding onto a rather large
rope that may have once been attached to an anchor...
I grabbed your hand and we were swept off.  We
surfaced in an isle of green... beautifully tiled
almost ancient place where everything had a filmy
cover of green.


The next dream still held true with pirate ships..
except this time I was trying to rescue you and I was
always one step behind.  You had been held captive in
this place that was like a brothel on the edge of the
water... you had escaped and secured a ship and were
sailing not far from shore when I arrived.  Somehow
we met up and managed to go back and grab what
remained of your belongings and escape.  At some point
the exit was through a waterpipe... and I worried so
much that the dog/cat/piglet/and duckling that was
with us wouldn't make it... drenched they all squeezed
out one right after the other.  


The next was more modernized...I took you with me to a
work type function..except it was simply an
improv..though it was not in any location/state I've
ever been.  You looked so healthy and you dressed up
so nicely... I knew you hated doing stuff like that...
but at one point you pulled me aside and thanked me
for bringing you.. you seemed to really be enjoying
yourself.  The lady doing stand up was a character
from one of the show that I've basically been watching
back to back episodes of... Olivia from Law and Order
SVU... she picked me out pulled me on stage and felt
me up and told me my tits were small.. then left me
alone on stage while she went and pulled other people
from the crowd... I saw you laughing at the silly
dances that they did making fun of current styles.. 


I want so much for you to be happy Ian. 

Bare Feet and Particles

I dreamt of an unfamiliar, undisclosed place where I found you.
It felt like fall with the turned leaves struggling to hold on...just like you...struggling to hold on...
You remain motionless as I lay my head on your bare feet....
I'm sorry I couldn't fix you.. just know I loved you with every single particle of myself... I'm sorry that wasn't good enough.